Blargghoolio: I like Wanda. She's totally radical!
Koopeep: You heard the blargg
Keiki (GM): Anyway. I should probably start this!
Zing Li Fast: Sounds about right.
Koopeep: go away zing Im supposed to be free of you
Keiki (GM): Yeah, go away Zing.
... why the hell did that play
Koopeep: I've been wondering about the music for a bit
Koopeep: but hey, evolution of flight
Layze: I forgot to ask you for that awesome remix you played during the straw head fight
[MUSIC] Penguin's Slide
A party consisting of Esmond, the spritely X-naut, Bakudan, the ditzy bob-omb, Wanda, the smug dark boo, and Koopeep, the enamored magikoopa, wander north to take on a task from Lemmy Morta.
Bobo_Jinky: techno dooplis?
Acre: welp, finished SMRPG just in time for this nonsense
Steev: surprise additions to our group
Geecy: I just stopped playing Minecraft in time to help!
He lived far north Toadbrook. They traveled through the Spiny Pines.
Geecy: Minecraft Tuesdays.
Acre: Whoa, bigger group.
Luckily, they faced no trouble, and eventually arrived in Penguin's Slide, where they found Lemmy!
Koopeep: Bakudan, don't think that I'm ever ungrateful for you being around
But I am completely surprised you followed me all the way up here again
Bakudan: You were the only name I recognized on the list of takers so I thought you might need help!
Wanda: Well of course it's obvious why all of you are here.
Bakudan: Plus. Excuse to keep wearing earmuffs.
Koopeep: You are a sweet heart, Bakudan.
Lemmy Morta: Ah. Bakudan. And... Koopeep, was it?
I see you brought two others.
Koopeep: You know it was.
Lemmy Morta: I'm glad you took on my trouble!
Esmond offers Lemmy a cup of tea.
Wanda: You wish to hog the credit for my genius help with this important mission.
Bakudan: I don't know these people!
I am Esmond, X-Naut Adventurer.
Bakudan: They're weird people who want to help for rewards.
Koopeep: One of them is a fellow magician. But she's a dark boo, so the jury's out so far.
Koopeep: Oh a Dark Boo who doesn't understand simple sentences. What are the odds.
I!
Hmph.
Koopeep: Lemmy, you're a bright fellow.
Esmond hands Wanda some tea too, so that she may spit it out in protest if she'd like.
Wanda: I won't let some turtle in a bath robe get to me.
Koopeep: What trouble could you possibly be happening
or having
whichever.
Wanda: You cretins are all just here to ride my intellect anyway so let's get this over with.
Lemmy Morta takes the tea.
Lemmy Morta sips it slowly.
Lemmy Morta: Mm... this is delicious. What kind is it?
Esmond: It's my special winter blend! Apple cinnamon chai.
Koopeep: That sounds heavenly right now. Cold weather doesn't agree with being cold blooded.
Lemmy Morta: It had a certain air of cozyness. I think I could appreciate this tea!
Koopeep adjusts her winter coat.
Lemmy Morta: ... But tea is not what I am here for. Otherwise this trouble would be over right here.
Esmond: Would anyone else like some of this? I've got plenty in my emergency pot!
Koopeep: Hope the rest of you are well prepared for this un-Bowserly chill
Bakudan: So.. what exactly is the trouble?
Esmond: Mmm, fair enough. What are we help--yes, what the friendly Bob-omb said!
Lemmy Morta searches through his robes.
Lemmy Morta: A star fell the other day. It was a strange, arcane star piece!
Bakudan: Did you find it yourself?
Lemmy Morta: Well... yes, it was buried in the snow a little.
Lemmy Morta takes some steps to his left.
Wanda: If it were a piece of a star, shouldn't it have melted the snow?
Esmond: Mmmm, interesting. . . I wonder if it came from the moonbase. . .
Lemmy Morta: Riiight.... ooover....
Wanda: That was your right, you clod!
It just fell from the sky.
Bakudan: How lucky! What will you do with it?
Lemmy Morta: Well... I'd use it.
But I've run into one problem.
Koopeep: If you make a wish on a falling star, maybe Lord Bowser will answer it.
Wanda: Star Pieces don't really do anything on their own, but I know a couple of autistic little girls who will trade you shiny things they foudn for them.
Esmond: I've heard of certain . . . scientific applications.
Lemmy Morta: There's a verbal component of the spell that just isn't coming to me.
Verbal incantations?
Lemmy Morta: Whenever I try to use this spell and say the words, I think I'm saying it... wrong.
Wanda: What armpit-scratching magical university did you go to?
This was clearly a waste of my time and talent.
Lemmy Morta: Did I hear someone say tomato twice?
Anyway.
Koopeep: And yet you're still here
Please, Lemmy, continue. And might I say your hair is looking particularly vibrant today. You don't dye it, do you?
Wanda: I am all the way here listening to you yammer about your crush on Bowser, you blithering cooter, I'm not leaving without my reward.
Koopeep: IT IS NOT A CRUSH
Koopeep pulls down her hat over her head
Wanda: Right, of course, you're in /love/
Lemmy Morta: O-Oh. Thank you, Koopeep.
Esmond: You know, hearing Bowser's minions talk about him cause me to really question the X-Naut leadership as well.
But more to the point.
Do you want us to figure out the rest of this spell?
Wanda: Did you just accuse me of being one of bowser's minions?
Koopeep pulls the hat off her head
Lemmy Morta: ... Indecent...
Esmond: Not at all, my dear. Surprisingly not everyone is talking about you every time they open their mouth.
Koopeep: Did someone just ask to be one of Lord Bowser's minions?
Acre: I just realized these are all the female characters in this campaign, plus Esmond.
Esmond smiles and offers Wanda more tea.
Wanda: The simple idiots he keeps around his haunted castles couldn't even hold a candle to me!
Lemmy Morta: But yes. I would like to figure out the rest of the verbal components.
Wanda begrudgingly takes the tea
Koopeep: That's weird. I always thought regular boos were a bit... /brighter/ than Dark Boos
Wakka Wakka
Lemmy Morta: I think I know a place where we can test this with harmless wildlife.
Esmond stifles a laugh carefully.
Wanda lights Koopeep's robe on fire
Esmond douses his robe with tea.
Koopeep stops, drops, and rolls int he snow
Esmond: Don't make me waste tea on saving robes.
I keep most of it around to calm your nerves anyway.
Wanda: And where have you been, anyway?
Koopeep: Now that the unpleasantries are out of the way, lead on, Lemmy
Wanda: I haven't seen you in weeks!
Lemmy Morta: I noticed two of you are sterling with magic. So... perhaps I could get a critique? And uh... back me up, if anything goes wrong.
Esmond: Well, you know, I've become quite the free spirit.
I've been traveling around, seeing the world. I'm like the wise old sage that checks in on you all while you're on your journey! And who brings tea.
Wanda: Yes, I see exactly what's wrong.
Lemmy Morta: There's some caves to the east that hold some powerful, mind altering crystals. I think I can really concentrate here.
Esmond: Hush dear, we need to help this man.
Koopeep: ...mind altering?
Esmond: Plus, I'm very interested in magic, and its intersection with science.
Wanda: You're an incompetent mage who still believes in long-disproven magical theory attempting to use a nonexistent spell on an item with no magical properties.
May I have my reward now?
Koopeep: Not to repeat myself but...
Lemmy Morta: I can use this bunk magic on you right now if you'd like, Wanda.
Koopeep: "Oh, a Dark Boo who doesn't know any better. What are the odds?"
Bakudan makes a snowman in the background while the others talk fancy magical things.
Esmond: Please, let's not.
Can you lead us to the cave? I'm sure we can protect you.
Wanda turns around an shoots a fireball at Bakudan's snowman out of pure spite
Bakudan: Fuck this tiny snowman.
My snowman is better.
Hey!
Koopeep: Be nice to Bakudan!
Bakudan kicks the snowman into nothingnes.
Koopeep: We'll make an even bigger one the next time we come here.
Acre: how is she making the C
Lemmy Morta: Well, uh... You guys seem fired up!
Wanda: I suppose you think that was clever.
Lemmy Morta is the supreme memelord.
Koopeep: Lemmy, lead on before this degenerate tries to defrost this whole mountain
Acre: Fuck this sidequest. Lemmy is a filthy memer trashlord
Lemmy Morta: Shall we be off?
Layze: god fuck wanda, being this mean makes me uncomfortable, I'll be right back with alcohol
Steev: how have you not been drinking on this, the day St Pappy made the snakes so drunk they got lost adn left ireland
Koopeep: It seems like it was just yesterday when we were at these slopes.
I think I already know the cave you mentioned before. Hopefully it's been cleared of its beetle infestation.
And look, there's still a ski from a broken sled.
Just the way we left it
and y'know it's not all bad
Lemmy Morta: This is a strange cave indeed. Crystals at the bottom of it. Let's enter!
Layze: I DID get to use the phrase "blathering cooter"
I've been holding onto that one since like the first session waiting for wanda to get a chance to talk to koopeep
[MUSIC] Underground
Steev: next time, mewling quim is a good one too
"cooter" is a type of turtle
Layze: and also dumb slang for a bagina
Steev: you went wayyy over my head with that one, gurl
I thought you were just saying koopeep was lady parts
Keiki (GM): Need to go yell at somebody.
Wanda: Yes, well, I suppose a lot of things must go over your head, hmm?
Steev: wanda don't be mean to me i am short
I am but a wee 3 foot tall dwarf
but with my knowledge I will play all of westeros against itself
and become the game of thrones
Lemmy Morta: This way, lovers of the arcane!
Bakudan: Brr. Just as cold as last time!
Koopeep: I'm glad I held onto this coat.
Lemmy Morta: Oh, you folks have been in here before? I suppose you must have found a sled or something in here!
Koopeep: We found... a nightmare.
Esmond: I'm glad my emergency tea kit keeps my back warm!
And my belly.
Koopeep: Ever see a yoshi contort itself into a toboggan before your very eyes?
It's a bad scene, man.
Esmond: This cave sounds more and more interesting the more you talk!
Lemmy Morta pulls out the Star Piece. It swells with a strange, purple energy.
Koopeep: Purple is almost never a good sign...
Lemmy Morta: This Star Piece was drawn here.
Shall we do... magicks?
Lemmy Morta laughs to himself.
Koopeep: Bakudan, i want you to be your normal helpful self
I get the feeling things are about to get crazy around here.
Esmond opens up a notebook and pulls out a pen.
Wanda: Your "star piece" looks an awful lot like a black light bulb shoved into a potato.
Koopeep 's robes gets caught between the feet and the ice
Wanda: Why are we here again?
Koopeep crashes into the far wall
Koopeep: I've lived through worse
There was the time a castle exploded on me
That was bad
Wanda: Oh, I see you tripped all over your...what do you call them, dear?
Feet?
Wanda: Useless things, really.
Koopeep: Are you quoting the little mermaid right now?
Koopeep: That was absolutely from Part of your World and I won't entertain the idea you don't know what you just said
Lemmy Morta has remained silent, feeling the crystal.
Wanda: You head must've taken an even bigger hit than it looked like.
It's a light bulb! You'll break it if you keep doing that.
Koopeep: Quiet, Wanda. Real magicians are magicianing
Lemmy Morta: It responds right around here.
Esmond: I'm going to just . . . step back.
Lemmy Morta: If only I could get a... stable footing!
Oof!
Lemmy Morta slides from side to side.
Lemmy Morta: I got, I got it!
Esmond writes "Magic done on ice: not scientifically recommended.'
Wanda: If you'd like I euthanize you.
Koopeep: Are you alright now?
Lemmy Morta: There's something in this little ice lake.
Wanda: One quick bolt of lightning to the heart is all it would take
And by my math there's roughly a 28% chance fo becoming a Boo.
I think playing the odds is a good solution here, hmm?
Koopeep: Why not apply your inclination to killing the ice lake with that fire you were flinging around?
Lemmy Morta: That's not my kind of gamble.
Koopeep: Whatever the star piece is reacting to is under the lake
Wanda shoves Koopeep back across the ice
Wanda: It's probably a magnet.
Esmond: Wanda, dear, I'm very cold.
Wanda: Because the "star piece" is, say it with me now, a LIGHT BULB!
Esmond: Could you not bully these kind folks?
Koopeep catches a beak against the wall
Koopeep: no mom I don't want to go to magikoopa school today
Lemmy Morta: ... Okay, it's a light bulb. With magic power.
Koopeep: I want to stay home and bake cookies with you
Esmond: It's hard to drink and relax with you being so impossible . . .
Wanda: There's nothing magical about it!
Esmond: I'm trying to make SCIENTIFIC observations.
Lemmy Morta: Hmph. And I thought Koopeep was conceited with the weird Bowser thing.
Esmond: Science. Important science.
Wanda: It lights up in here because there's a magnetic charge in the air!
Esmond writes down "magnetic charge?" but doesn't want to believe Wanda.
Steev: layze I am loving that the magic ghost is skeptic of magic
please don't ever quit wanda
Lemmy Morta: You're so scientific. That explains why you went into magic!
Wanda: This isn't magic, it's just asinine!
Lemmy Morta slides across the ice again.
Bakudan: Any reason to preserve this ice rink?
Wanda: Magic is a very precise science in this buffoon is laughing in the face of all of it with this nonsnse!
Koopeep: Bakudan, I think that the grape ape over there is going to be difficult.
Could you kindly see what you can do about demolishing this ice rink, please?
Wanda: How on earth are the rest of you clods falling for this?
Bakudan: I was hoping you'd ask!
Wanda: Desmond, you at least must see that he is clearly holding a light bulb in a potato!
Acre: Bakudan can also do magic
Bakudan explodes, dealing
9 damage to anyone immediately around her!
Esmond: It's Esmond . . .
To the two of you
Wanda: Esmond, please, you're supposed to be the smart one!
Koopeep: Now maybe I know why he left the group
Brilliant work, Bakudan
The ice completely shatters! It's like that one Super Metroid thing.
Koopeep: Who wants to be the first one down the hole?
Acre: It reminds me of that thing in yumi nikki
Esmond: Great job Bakudan!
At the very least this electomagnetic mechanism might be interesting.
It must be hundreds of years old, buried in here.
Esmond: By the way, Wanda. I do think it could be a piece of the star. But I think I want more experiments done before we call it a potato.
Bakudan jumps down. Boing!
Koopeep: ... anyone here ever watch that Xiaolin Showdown show?
Because the cranky purple ghost is givng me major deja vu
Esmond slides down uneasily, tea-cups clanging.
Bakudan lands, while Wanda gently hovers down.
Bakudan: Oooh, it's dark down here...
Crystals!
Layze: I would love to makea reference here but I'm afraid I don't remember anything about wooya
Koopeep tries to slow her sliding as much as possible
Layze: ...was that even her name
just say JAAAACAK
Lemmy Morta: Yesss... Yes! This is the place!
Steev: and you'll be fine
Wanda uses outta sight as koopeep comes down the slide towards her
More bad sign
Esmond: Traveling through the bowels of the earth, we've emerged!
And what beauty we have to behold!
Esmond scribbles what he just said in his notebook.
Bakudan: You think these are edible, Iris?
Maybe the potato really has found some sort of magical remnants.
Lemmy Morta: Alrighty... It's time for me to look for something to test this spell on.
Wanda: But it IS a potato. There's a light bulb coming out of it. You are clearly holding a lightbulb in a potato.
Bakudan: Test it on Wanda.
Koopeep: I've been meaning to ask, Lemmy. What is this spell supposed to do?
Wanda: Yes, please do test this "spell" on me.
It should be good for a laugh.
Lemmy Morta: Well... Okay!
Uh... Panic... Hurtz... OMEGA!
Esmond scribbles "really loud annoying boo VANISHES"
Bakudan: ...What /is/ that?
I recognize this creature.
Acre: The spell is spelt Panchizurtz.
Esmond: We're in for a lot of pain!
Ah
Lemmy Morta: Uh... Hold on, just some semantics and this should be reverted!
Koopeep: WHAAAAT IS THAAAAT
Lemmy Morta waves his arms.
Acre: Everyone go home, I solved the mystery.
Esmond sips tea anxiously.
Esmond scribbles "Would rather have annoying boo than a hydroshi"
Lemmy Morta: So yeah. That's what it's supposed to do! For the morbidly curious.
Esmond: Some potato, eh, dear?
Koopeep: It's supposed to make monsters?
Bakudan: ...Turn people into gigantic Brownies?
Wanda: I am willing to accede that perhaps the potato has magical properties.
Koopeep: I-hi-hi-hi-hinteresting
Wanda: But it is still clearly a potato.
You can see it.
He's holding it in his hands.
It is a potato.
Lemmy Morta: It's supposed to Polymorph! But... it's never consistent.
Esmond: Fascinating. I wonder what determines the type of creature it creates.
Koopeep: Mr. Esmond, may I have some of that tea? I require a spit take
Esmond: Perhaps it's related to the personality of who you use it on . . .
Layze: I think I just used accede wrong
I'm a bad nerd
Esmond hands Koopeep some tea, but not his nice stuff, because you don't use that for spit takes.
Koopeep takes a respectable sip and then spits it out
Esmond: Very nice! You know, I use that for one of my attacks.
Lemmy Morta: So... This spell can sometimes go wrong.
Koopeep: P-polymorph?! That's some high level wiz biz!
Lemmy Morta: I just need to get the verbal component right. And then... we should be set.
Wanda: May I have a look at the potato?
Esmond: Please don't give it to her!
Lemmy Morta: I may be reckless, but I'm not diabolical here.
Shall we go find something to test this on?
Wanda: Oh please, this is for purely acedemic purposes now!
Academic potato.
Wanda: I was just turned into a dragon by a potato and I wish to know why.
Koopeep: Question. Do you know what a potato is?
Koopeep: Because I don't think you do.
Wanda: It's an oblong brown vegetable that grows in the ground!
And a lightbulb is a glass bulb used to light rooms!
Lemmy Morta: Alrighty, here goes...
Wanda: He is clearly holding a lightbulb which someone has jammed into a potato!
Lemmy Morta starts to wave his arms around.
should we maybe not test experimental magic on a living rock
Lemmy Morta: Paniceroo... Hurtzaroo... ONICHANOMEGA!
it cake
Cleft is hit by magical energy!
Esmond scribbles "Just saw a Cleft become a Garcleft. Fascinating."
Bakudan: ...What the hell?
Koopeep: You don't think it will be grateful, do you?
Lemmy Morta: Uh... Have fun!
Keiki (GM): Roll for initiative!
[MUSIC] Battle 2
Bakudan: It seems like a more practical body. But imagine his peers, they'll just tease him.
: rolling 1d6>4
= 1 Successes
Esmond: rolling 1d6>4
= 1 Successes
Bakudan takes initiative!
Koopeep takes initiative!
Koopeep: rolling 2d6>4
= 1 Successes
Wanda: rolling 2d6>4
= 0 Successes
Wanda looks at the "star piece" over lemmy morta's shoulder
Koopeep: at LEAST turn Wanda back into that Hyrdoshi to give us an even chance
Esmond: But the spell is unpredictable, we're not sure it'll turn Wanda into a hydroshi or a turd.
Wanda: At a glance, it looks like someone has used the lightbulb as a rudimentary crystal ball, with the potato being a means of providing energy.
It's archaic magitech!
Fascinating.
Esmond: The former would be helpful. The latter . . . amusing.
Wanda: Truly, there is no end to the number of uses for a common potato...
Koopeep: So esmond, you're saying it's a no-lose situation
Wanda: But this IS still a lightbulb stuck in a potato.
I don't understand where you're getting this "star piece" nonsense from.
Esmond: Mmm, I'm saying we need to fight!
Ho ho!
Keiki (GM): rolling 2d6>4
= 2 Successes
Keiki (GM) takes initiative!
Geecy: (i forgot what order i roll in)
Action Command first right?
: rolling 8d6>4
= 7 Successes
Garcleft utilizes inner Power on Esmond!
Esmond scribbles "His cries are quite boot-shaking!"
Garcleft whacks its maced tail into Esmond, dealing
8 damage!
Esmond tries to dodge Garcleft's attack!
Esmond: rolling 1d6>4
= 1 Successes
Esmond utilizes inner Power on Garcleft!
Esmond: rolling 5d6>4
= 1 Successes
Steev: And this, gamers, is why you always keep a white mage handy
Esmond quakes the ground by jumping up and down, causing
5 damage to all ground and ceiling enemies!
Garcleft is flying, and avoids the attack entirely!
Acre: nice loop by the way
Geecy: Geez. I forgot, he's not standing, even though he's got legs.
>___>
Garcleft: Graaack. Nerd feel dumb now!
Layze: geecy he has wings
Esmond scribbles "I feel dumb. Sigh."
yes he does
wha
Bakudan: Yeah! My wings are better!
Steev: Bakudan has been accesorizing like a pro
Layze: it's true, your wings are much better
Bakudan: rolling 9d6>4
= 4 Successes
Garcleft: rolling 6d6>4
= 2 Successes
Bakudan utilizes inner Power on Garcleft!
Garcleft tries to guard against Bakudan's attack!
Bakudan jumps on Garcleft, dealing
4 damage.
"Cowabunga!" sounds off, right as Bakudan lands her jump.
Layze: I gotta start making good on my threat to make wanda start a hat collection
Geecy: I mean, he's not skipped leg day, so I sorta just noticed the legs more. Didn't think "gee maybe a gargoyle flies" for whatever reason.
Garcleft: Graaack! Grackabunga!
Layze: having legs and not skipping leg day are not the same thing!
knuckles has legs, but has clearly skipped leg day
Bakudan has a Spike Shield Badge, and bypasses the spikes!
Acre: that is the best worst badge ever
Layze: which is why he, too, is able to fly
Bakudan: ...I completely forgot I had this. Thanks, past me!
Geecy: Oh, my point was that I just noticed the legs, not the wings. I dunno!
Steev: I see where this is going, I'm not gonna be the first one to die, I'll tell you that much!
Steev attempts to use Magikopy!
Steev knows about timed hits!
Steev: rolling 8d6>4
= 3 Successes
Layze: steve your character is supposed to fight
what are you doing steve
Koopeep: it's called a tag in
Koopeep attempts to use Magikopy!
Koopeep knows about timed hits!
Koopeep: rolling 8d6>4
= 2 Successes
Wanda: Who on earth was that?
Koopeep: I liked it better when I had three magikopies comin
Keiki (GM): Go ahead and do 3 son.
Koopeep creates
4 illusory Magikopy version(s) of herself!
but
k
Hahaha I don't even know whos' the real me
PrinceShroob: Looks like it said 3 + 1.
Acre: This guy is small fry and you are already screwing up
Koopeep: Magikopy 1: Oh god we're back
Magikopy 2: Are we really here just to get killed again?
PrinceShroob: Oh hey, you guys found a Shine Sprite.
Koopeep: Magikopy 3: Hey, it might not be so bad. Last time SHE died and we lived
PrinceShroob: Who has it?
Layze: cake may I enact a crazy plan
Keiki (GM): What is your crazy plan
Bobo_Jinky: i know what it is i think
Keiki (GM): Hard mode: Do not mention potatoes
Layze: I am going to shoot a bolt of lightning at that crystal formation, and the extreme heat and energy put off by the bolt will cause a chemical reaction in the crystal so that it shatters violently
Layze: which would launch that giant pointy bit of crystal straight into the garcleft it's currently pointing at
Bobo_Jinky: nevermind i called it wrong
Bakudan: ...I don't like this plan.
Keiki (GM): Causing its floatational device to crash down on top of all of Garcleft's monsters
Koopeep: It sounds like that plan is to make shrapnel fire at everyone in the immediate area
PrinceShroob: So who's the red guy?
Layze: the alternative is to use koopeep's copies as targets for lightning arc
Bobo_Jinky: okay that's what i called
Keiki (GM): I could do this. But no guarantees that this wouldn't hit your friends.
Keiki (GM): In fact. It probably would.
Keiki (GM): It would hit yourself too, probalby!
Wanda: Buckle up, you mentally deficient children.
School's in session, and it's time for a science lesson!
Koopeep: I'm ready for the second fight to be three people against on arrogant ghost
Lemmy Morta: Uh... what's going on?
yolo
Wanda: rolling 10d6>4
= 6 Successes
Wanda attempts to use SCIENC!
Wanda knows about timed hits!
Acre: Lemmy wins the fight.
maybe
Acre: By not participating
Wanda blasts with an arc of lightning, dealing
7 damage! It jumps to
4 additional targets within range of 20 feet each jump, shocking each for
4 damage!
Layze: which is to say it doesn't bounce at all and isntead causes crazy science
Actually.
Make that d6.
2
Koopeep: Do not do this, this is a TERRIBLE idea
Lame
Wanda: Don't be silly, I'm BRILLIANT!
PrinceShroob: She got a nice roll on the d10, but then she sucked on the d6.
Koopeep: Magikopy 4: I'm with her, I want to live!
Wanda blasts a crystal, causing it to shatter! It hurts all targets in the area, taking into account for defense!
Koopeep: Magikopy 2: When Magikopies die, they go to hell, man!
Koopeep's Magikopies are defeated by shrapnel!
oh well no regrets
Layze: crazy plans are the whole reason to play TTRPG's
Koopeep: Someone just dumb planned their way out of a heal spell!
PrinceShroob: Why is it that both the White Mage AND Black Mage are complete assholes?
Steev: Because it's so rare to see a religious healer be evil
well, lawful evil
I thought it was a fun twist
Layze: and because it seemed like a funny idea at the time
and idk maybe other people find it funny but being such a bitch is really draining on me
Esmond: Does anyone have any mushrooms?
PrinceShroob: Also, I just realized that not every group has a tattle-slave.
Sad.
Steev: We have one. But Shin isn't in this group
: rolling 8d6>4
= 4 Successes
Garcleft utilizes inner Power on Bakudan!
Bakudan: ...Wanda, I think you just tore a hole into my wings!
Acre: shroob, all you did was get hurt, heal and tattle twice
Garcleft whacks its maced tail into Bakudan, dealing
7 damage!
Koopeep: I'll help you out next turn, Esmond
PrinceShroob: I meant every group doing tattles.
Bakudan: rolling 2d6>4
= 1 Successes
tattles
Bakudan tries to guard against Garcleft's attack!
PrinceShroob: I MEAN TROUBLES
Layze: I'm just upset I won't get to see the full-size garcleft sprite
PrinceShroob: And yes Acre, I realize that I was completely useless in that trouble.
Acre: RIght click -> View image
but press the heel of something
PrinceShroob: To repent, I give Catena all of my character's items and then have him commit seppuku!
Acre: or else you'll be booted out of this page
*wheel
Bakudan: Grack to you too!
: rolling 9d6>4
= 3 Successes
Keiki (GM): Also, restored your backpack, Geecy!
Geecy: My brew boost -- Is that a power attack?
Bakudan utilizes inner Power on Garcleft!
Keiki (GM): rolling 6d6>4
= 3 Successes
Keiki (GM) tries to guard against Bakudan's attack!
Bakudan jumps on Garcleft, dealing
4 damage.
An announcer saying "Failure..." and the audience's collective sigh sounds off, right as Bakudan lands her jump.
Geecy: Sorry, did I get skipped?
Ake: I thought your sprite was Garcleft's.
Garcleft: Graaack-ack-ack!
Anyway, power attack for the brew boost?
I'm just gonna assume so until further notice!
Acre: two hours of badly looped smrpg boss
Geecy: Although it doesn't make sense.
Acre: because I didn't say it
PrinceShroob: I like the other SMRPG boss theme more.
Geecy: I feel bad for not remembering this!
Geecy utilizes inner Power on Garcleft!
Geecy: rolling 5d6>4
= 3 Successes
???
Keiki (GM): Heh, so uh... what are you doing?
Geecy: Using British Brew Boost. >___>
Keiki (GM): Action Command, son.
Geecy: I don't remember if I just roll that, or what I roll before that.
Layze: wouldn't that be an action command
Geecy: All I needed to know!
Keiki (GM): That's the macro's name, too!
Geecy knows about timed hits!
Geecy: rolling 4d6>4
= 4 Successes
Oh!
Geecy: It's the second attack I have >_____>
Keiki (GM): Press 2 to pay your respects
Layze: geecy says the darndest things
Geecy: Did you want me to literally type "british brew boost" in that box.
Because if so, that's hilarious.
Layze: that's what everyone else does
when I did my thing I just typed SCIENCE
Geecy pulls out a handy enlarging tea!
Geecy downs it and grows larger for
4 turns, doubling attack but halving speed.
scienc
Geecy: I'm gonna go back to feeling dumb for a while.
no tears
onyl dreams now
2
Drunk typo, shhh.
Acre: what is even going on anymore
Layze: cake I'm curious, did you design these fights for the troubles with the people doign them in mind
like
Keiki (GM): The content, yes.
Layze: kreg and catena, two of the hardest hitters in the game, had to fight a boss with tons of buddies
and I'm hee having to figure out how to do anything at all to a fire-immune single target
Keiki (GM): Oh, I forgot it was fire immune if it was.
It's fire immune now. Makes sense. Thanks Layze!
Layze: qewell it's a cleft
np
Steev: maybe try killing more of your allies
Keiki (GM): Oh yeah, Bakudan moved.
Layze: hey I barely killed you at all
that hurt me more than anyone else
Keiki (GM): I should move the turn order thing to reflect that.
Acre: I think having only three characters against culite was not ideal
PrinceShroob: Not three. Tw.
*Two.
Keiki (GM): If I had more I would have made Culite stronger!
PrinceShroob: Shrody did nothing that fight.
Steev: You killed all my magikopies
Layze: wanda wouldv'e solo'd the fucker
Steev: you killed koopeep 4 times
Koopeep casts a healing spell on Esmond, healing for
6 HP!
Bakudan: You know guys, I think we should do something innovative and incredible this fight.
Why don't we... wish for a miracle?
Acre: ..did esmond get double HP or what is this
Can't hurt
Layze: doubling the sprie's size doubles the bars too
PrinceShroob: Pretty sure that larger HP bar means nothing.
Koopeep: I don't think anyone's used these merit badges yet
Acre: jk geecy you're the bestest
Esmond: Why thank you for that heal, dear!
Wanda at least knows that not getting killed is more important than maintaining grudges
Wanda: rolling 10d6>4
= 5 Successes
Wanda attempts to use Outta Sight!
Wanda knows about timed hits!
PrinceShroob: Okay, every time I see Esmond talk, I hear Geecy talking in a british accent for some reason.
Wanda grabs Koopeep, turning both invisible! They may stay invisible for up to
7 turns.
Geecy: But Esmond is a man, yo.
Wanda: Don't say anything catty or I'll leave you in this dimension to rot
PrinceShroob: Yes, I know that.
So is Kain.
: rolling 8d6>4
= 7 Successes
Koopeep: I was going to say Hey
Garcleft utilizes inner Power on Bakudan!
Garcleft whacks its maced tail into Bakudan, dealing
7 damage!
Koopeep: I appreciate your priorities
Acre: oh no the only attacker is down
Koopeep: Nonono! Bakudan, aaah!
Bakudan: ...I'll wish in my dreams. :c
Koopeep: I'll be there as soon as I can!
Geecy utilizes inner Power on Garcleft!
Geecy: rolling 10d6>4
= 5 Successes
wait.
This thing has spikes, yes?
That will injure me.
Keiki (GM): For the interest of time.
Esmond reconsiders his method of attack.
Keiki (GM): You body slam him from the side.
PrinceShroob: You have a Ray Gun and Tea Set.
Esmond wails forward and leaps at Garcleft, body slamming for
5 damage.
Garcleft: Graaaack! Uh-oh...
Layze: yeah X-nauts totally do that
Geecy: Plus whatever boost my size gives me.
Acre: Now you know this fight has gone for way too log if the GM is going to break his own rules
PrinceShroob: Garcleft needs to defend, doesn't he?
Layze: the one where they like twirl their arms and do the dive-tackle
Geecy: Shroob, shhhhhhhh.
Keiki (GM): That's what I'm thinking of.
Garcleft: rolling 2d6>4
= 2 Successes
Garcleft tries to dodge Esmond's attack!
Koopeep tries to recover from a status effect!
Koopeep: rolling 6d6>4
= 4 Successes
wait hold on
Koopeep: I don't have a come back command
uh
Keiki (GM): A what command?
Keiki (GM): Oh. Macros. Whoops.
Koopeep: Lord Bowser, if you can hear me, please bring back Bakudan
Keiki (GM): Well... There is no action command for that.
PrinceShroob: I think he means he doesn't have a macro for his- yeah
Keiki (GM): Gimme da 7 FP.
Acre: half health or full health
timed hits.
when the star touches thwhatever
Keiki (GM): Half health for now. I'll do this later.
Bakudan: Oh thank you Koopeep! You're a lifesaver!
Wanda
regains 1 FP this turn.
Wanda
stays the same FP this turn.
Keiki (GM): Aaaand for last turn.
Wanda
regains 1 FP this turn.
Wanda
regains 1 FP this turn.
Geecy: Thank goodness you're back in the fray, Bakudan!
Layze: plus two for that and minus two for the ones I forgot to subtract when I used outta sight
hooray
cake what was the second power we got form the second quilt patch
I think.
Koopeep: I'm running a little low on juice...
Keiki (GM): I'm just doing the first ones for now.
Koopeep: Somoene want to wrap this Cleft up?
Keiki (GM): They've never been used, so...
Layze: well I thought I might have a use for one here
Steev: I mean I haven't seen any macros for the terra quilt patches
Layze: but it turns out all we've got is a quake
Bakudan: I just keep forgetting!
Wanda cackles as lightning arcs between her hands
Wanda: rolling 10d6>4
= 4 Successes
Wanda attempts to use Lightning Arc!
Wanda knows about timed hits!
Wanda blasts Garcleft with an arc of lightning, dealing
5 damage! It jumps to
4 additional targets within range of 20 feet each jump, shocking each for
3 damage!
Layze: that's actually aimed at the garcleft
Layze: but she's sure as hell gonna try to use those crystals as secondary targets
Steev: pls stop shooting crystals we need them
to be pretty
The lightning bounces between the crystals, electrocuting Garcleft with arcane energy! He falls down to the ground, defeated!
[MUSIC] Underground
Esmond: Smashing job, dear!
The party receives
47 coins!
Wanda: Yes, well, watching the asperger bomb die wouldn't have been as funny the second time, I fear.
Bakudan: Oh hey! I could buy Iris food with this!
PrinceShroob: Wait, no Star Points?
Koopeep: I can buy the syrups that I'll need after that ressurection
hooboy
Keiki (GM): In the interest of time.
Koopeep: that's ah... gonna take some getting used to
Bakudan: Wish with me, Koopeep.
Esmond goes back to his regular size!
Wanda: Hm, seven little flower points leave you drained, does it?
Well, of course that's understandable.
Lesser spellcasters often have trouble with USEFUL spells.
Lemmy Morta: I'm sure we'll do well this time. I know I've got it!
Koopeep: We have the exact same amount of flower points
I wonder what would happen if I tried to bring a Dark Boo back to life
Lemmy Morta: Why lookie here! I think there's just enough remaining life to technically be a subject!
Koopeep: Or would they just poof into nothing.
Lemmy Morta: Picnic... House... Omega Shenron!
Koopeep: Lemmy before you start slinging that spell around I think we should think--
Wanda: Your body and soul would be ripped in two, and you would be eternally imprisoned in the depths of the Underwear to replace to soul you took back.
Koopeep: or you can just invoke the worst Dragonball series either or
PrinceShroob: do not bring up GT please
The unanimated Dry Bones start swirling in the air, morphing into something strange...
Koopeep: Maybe it's friendly?
Dry Bones: Ohhh... not again...
Koopeep: Hey.... Fellow Koopa brother
Esmond frantically takes more notes.
Esmond: Must we continue experimenting with this?
Acre: The spell is clearly Zeeky Boogy Doog. For maximum cringe.
Bakudan: Wow, that looks painful.
Lemmy Morta: U-U-Uh... You guys got this one, right? Have fun!
Lemmy Morta runs off and hids.
Layze: and fuck you steve omega shenron was one of the few cool parts of GT
Esmond: I'm getting discouraged by this turn of events.
PrinceShroob: Wait, really? I never got past...uh, I don't remember when I stopped watching GT.
Layze: oh man I can actually use fire on this one
no need for stupid plan central
Ake: Bones don't even cremate.
Keiki (GM): Oh yeah, roll for initiative!
[MUSIC] Battle 5
Steev: layze don't joke like that
there was nothing good about GT
Ake: They just decalcify.
PrinceShroob: Yeah, but Dry Bones are still weak to fire for some reason.
Layze: no but GT also has one part that's legitimately awesome
Steev: they killed Majin Buu in GT
Ake: If you use fire on him, he'll need a dentist.
Esmond: rolling 1d6>4
= 0 Successes
Layze: at the very end krillin and goku have a friendly sparring match
Steev: the ending of GT was not terrible
Steev: you are correct on that
Ake: My head canon is that the dental bills wreck him.
Steev: rolling 2d6>4
= 1 Successes
Layze: and that's awesome because krillin had always been such a fucking joke before that
Koopeep takes initiative!
Koopeep: rolling 2d6>4
= 1 Successes
Keiki (GM): rolling 1d6>4
= 0 Successes
Keiki (GM) takes initiative!
Layze: like he's the first person to get owned in every fight
Steev: Krillin being a joke is somethign more invented by the fans, I always felt
Bakudan: rolling 1d6>4
= 0 Successes
Layze: that ending helps you remember that he is literally the strongest human who ever has or ever will live
Bakudan takes initiative!
Dry Reaver: rolling 5d6>4
= 1 Successes
Steev: he busted his ass all around namek and the cell saga
Dry Reaver takes initiative!
Layze: rolling 2d6>4
= 1 Successes
PrinceShroob: If any of the Z fighters were jokes, it was Yamcha.
Steev: and if you're going to say for one second that MR. SATAN isn't the strongest human ever then we can't be friends anymore
Bobo_Jinky: friendly reminder mr. satan is one of the strongest normal human beings alive
Layze: reminder that yamcha kicked goku's ass in dragonball
Steev: he single-handedly defeated the Cell monster AND Majin buu
Acre: I don't I've ever got past DBZ.
PrinceShroob: And he was quickly overshadowed afterwards.
Keiki (GM): Krillin doesn't count because he has no nose and is therefore not human
Acre: I know I watched all of the original Dragon Ball and some of Z, but never GT.
PrinceShroob: Also, Hercule is the strongest human that doesn't rely on Ki energy or whatever.
Keiki (GM): Anyway! Layze's turn!
Layze: anyway there's a fight
Steev: Hercule is the greatest
give him the dynamite kcik
Wanda: rolling 10d6>4
= 7 Successes
Wanda attempts to use Fireball!
Wanda knows about timed hits!
Steev: just like Mr. Satan woulda done
hail satan
Wanda tosses a fireball at Dry Reaver, dealing
9 damage. Dry Reaver is
not burned .
Dry Reaver: I will be the bane of yo-- OH NO FIRE!
Bobo_Jinky: yes ty for repeating what i said shroob
Dry Reaver: AUUUGH! AUUUGH!
PrinceShroob: Like, seriously. Hercule is genuinely a terrific fighter. He's just been horribly overshadowed.
Koopeep: This feels... sad
Steev: No Shroob, I am 100% with you
[MUSIC] Underground
Esmond continuing to take notes, writes that he finds it amusing that the last two monsters have been more powerful versions of their own original selves . . . but Wanda turned into a Hydroshi? Hoh! Hoh hoh!
Bakudan: ...Wow. What a stupid fight.
Layze: I dunno there was some implication that hercule really did cheat his way to the top
PrinceShroob: Oh my gosh.
Steev: remember when he was the last living human in the universe?
and punched a hole in a bus?
Layze: remember when goku saved hercule instead of his own son
Esmond: What a disappointment! I wanted to lay into that bag of bones!
The party gains
23 coins!
Steev: and did the vanishing speed technique against the guys who wanted to shoot him?
PrinceShroob: To be fair layze, Goku is a terrible dad.
Steev: and hercule is an amazing dad
he loves doing things with the kids
Lemmy Morta: See, you guys are fit out perfectly for this job!
Koopeep: I wanted to test if healing spells could hurt the undead
Layze: remember that time the guy as strong as freeze came to earth and goten and trunks got to fight him
freeza
Koopeep: that will be for next time
Bakudan: Should I even bother?
Steev: well yeah, because a guy as strong as frieza was a joke by that point in that weird filler movie
Lemmy Morta: Nananananana... I'm gonna polymorph this bat!
that's the joke
oh he's as strong as frieza
sounds like a good activity for the kids
Lemmy Morta: Alright. Here we go.
Koopeep: before you say the spell
be sure you remember
Lemmy Morta concentrates deeply.
and the other words
Lemmy Morta: P-- Wait no.
No.
I have it. I...
Lemmy Morta: I understand... EVERYTHING!
Koopeep: Hooked on Phonics
Wanda: I think you're starting to get lead poisoning from the surface of the light bulb.
Seriously everyone.
I understand that you're stupid, but you are not also blind.
Lemmy Morta: The words... all were so clear. I at last understand!
Wanda: This is a lightbulb jammed in a potato.
Esmond: I hope the spell comes out right this time!
Lemmy Morta: Panichikinurts Omega!
Koopeep: How exactly would a lightbulb potato turn you into a Hydroshi?
knurts
Wanda: I told you, it's rudimentary magitech!
Probably a child's science project.
The Swooper slowly starts to transform.
Koopeep: So you're saying you don't understand how something so simple could possibly work?
Bawk!
Koopeep: Is that a Nu from Chrono trigger
Wanda: No, I understand it perfectly!
PrinceShroob: Looks like dinner to me.
Wanda: The light bulb is acting as a magical focus, like an extremely rudimentary crystal ball.
Lemmy Morta jumps for joy.
Wanda: And the potato is providing power.
Lemmy Morta: Panichikinurtz Omega! That was the spell name!
Esmond: Hey Lemmy, dear, think you could turn Wanda into a Chickin now?
Wanda: Usually that part requires magical energy, but apparently potatos can power magic light bulbs as well as normal ones.
Lemmy Morta: Ladies and gentlemen... my masterwork!
Wanda: I think the magical properties of potatoes warrant further study.
Koopeep: Panchikinurtz Omega
Chikin begins to ponder if "bok" or "bawk" would make for better onomatopoeia.
Koopeep: Rolls right off the tongue
Job well done, Lemmy
But I expect no less from a fellow Magikoopa
Wanda stares at the potato light, pondering
Esmond: I'm glad we were able to assist!
Lemmy Morta: I didn't say earlier... But there was more than one of these crystals.
Lemmy Morta pulls out two more crystals.
Lemmy Morta: I shall keep one for myself.
As the reward... I shall give these to the especially spellcasting adept.
Wanda quickly snaps one of them out of his hand
Lemmy Morta: ... You seem grateful!
Here. You're the cooler one!
Koopeep: Thank you very much, Lemmy
Wanda: Hm...I think this is a higher-wattage bulb than the one in yours.
Lemmy Morta hands the crystal to Koopeep.
Wanda: The project must've been studying the effects of the different bulbs.
Esmond: And what for us, um. . . less sparkly folks?
Bakudan: ...Got any food? Especially meat.
Lemmy Morta: And though I have no crystals here, I do have something for you.
Koopeep: Bakudan definitely earned her way today
Bakudan: How about a burger.
Lemmy Morta: ... Hold on a second!
Wanda: But why only metamorphosis spells?
Lemmy Morta: Need some fresh eggs?
Bakudan: Oh, that'd be lovely!
Thank you!
Lemmy Morta gives Esmond and Bakudan three eggs each.
Wanda: Maybe they're the only kind a potato can provide sufficient electric power from?
Wanda: Or maybe they're the only kind that can fit in a light bulb.
Koopeep: Are these eggs from that swooper chicken
Esmond: Maybe I'll make eggnog.
Bakudan feeds one to Iris.
Esmond: Broaden my drink horizon!
Wanda: Regardless, whoever made these is a very clever aspiring magician.
Keiki (GM): Alright, I've had guests for the past hour and a half. I'm going to go entertain them. Session's pretty much ogre!
