Wanda sits around in in an inn, waiting for the inevitable government funding for a space drill or... whatever it is she wanted to drill into the Mushroom Kingdom's crust.
The innkeeper hauls something inside. A large, cardboardbox with a couple holes in it.
[MUSIC] Toadbrook
Toadbrook Lady: Is there a... Wanda Boopun in the inn? There's something in here from Parliament.
Acre: nice last name. for a
dork
PrinceShroob: ..."boopun"
really
Layze: I think that surname has just disconnected something in my brain
Wanda: Oh, oh, yes, that's me, right here!
Toadbrook Lady: Pretty hefty. What's inside?
Wanda tears away at the tough industrial tape...
Blitzin' Brad: RETURN OF THE KING, BABY
Inside was Blitzin' Brad with a shovel.
Where even IS this
Wanda is invisible and pretending she's no longer there
Blitzin' Brad slaps the delivery lady's ass
Blitzin' Brad: Thanks babe
What say you and me talk FOOTBALL
Toadbrook Lady: O-oh... Brad-sempai.
PrinceShroob: fucking sexual harassment
Blitzin' Brad senses somewhere a purple guy is upset
Toadbrook Lady: My inn is moving on its own!
Blitzin' Brad slaps the inns ass
Keiki (GM): Fucking amazing.
Cody C.: i want my next special attack to be slapping the ass of someone's gf and stunning them because they don't know how to respond
Blitzin' Brad arrived after being paid ten coins by a shady Toadbrook government employee.
Acre: You have a shine sprite
Layze: does this mean I don't actually get to build a big stupid drill
Wizzy: fun times at the innterior
Acre: ...which you could use now.
Cody C.: I think it's been used
Keiki (GM): Parliament donated Blitzin' Brad's spirit energy.
Acre: Oh. Then nevermind.
Keiki (GM): With it, you can drill the drill that will pierce the underworld!
Cody C.: Don't believe in yourself
Believe in me who believes in you
me
Wanda turns visible again
Wanda: Ugh, really? Is this some kind of joke?
Oh well, it'll have to do.
Blitzin' Brad: No, bro. Sexual harrassment is no joke.
Wanda: You. Football man. Come.
Blitzin' Brad: WHERE THE BROS GOES
THE BRAD FOLLOWS
Wanda: I've done some research on the town's founding.
There's little information about the foundation but I think I have enough to work with.
You.
Right here.
Dig.
Blitzin' Brad starts repeatedly punching the ground
Blitzin' Brad starts repeatedly punching the shovel
Blitzin' Brad: Dig, damn you!
You tall lanky chump
Wanda has just been rendered speechless for the first time in her life OR afterlife
Zap: Even Spooker isn't that dumb
Blitzin' Brad finally realizes how shovels work after suplexing the shovel into the ground. He then starts suplexing the shovel repeatedly.
Blitzin' Brad: THIS IS GREAT FOR MY GLUTES, BRO
Cody C.: I'm legit digging now
Just with suplexes
Blitzin' Brad begins suplexing the very earth. Tangentially. With a shovel.
Blitzin' Brad attempts to suplex the earth itself. Atlas shrugged.
Blitzin' Brad: Whoa, bro. Who like, put this hole here.
The two slowly begin digging a hole under Toadbrook. Meanwhile...
[MUSIC] Toadbrook Sewers
Acre: character time hnnnrg
Spooker: Thanks for letting us in ^.^
Catena: I'm guessing the door is properly secured?
Kreg: Why does this place look like a shop gone wrong?
Spooker: Wasn't there a personhere a second ago?
Thanks for letting us in... sir?
Hello?
Catena: ...spooky ghosts.
For real ghosts and not lame marketing stunts.
o.o!
Or a glitch in the matrix. Either or.
A craw had let in the party into the building after nearly being accosted by a group of gangbangers in a mysterious underground city.
Gus: Hey! Don't you know it's unsafe down here?
Catena: It's unsafe everywhere these times.
Gus: Gads, just as I thought, too. Bet you're all from the surface, too.
but is that really that awful
Catena: You sound like you're from the surface.
Gus: Let me guess. Rich boys looking for an extravagant trip? Maybe gamble at the casino? Meet exotic Mushroom Kingdom babes?
Shrody: Technically, I'm from above the surface.
Gus: I was from the surface.
Catena: We are looking for...someone!
Gus: Above the surface, now you wanna get technical...
Catena: ...Who were we looking for?
Well we were looking for... a thing
Gus: You sure you're the people doing the looking? There might be caretakers worried sick.
Gus: A thing. Say it ain't so!
Kreg: this might sound crazy
but
Gus rummages through the trash.
Kreg: we need a thing to save mario
Catena: Not important in the grand scheme of things, but eh.
we kinda like him so
Catena: But he's important to...us, maybe?
Gus: Whatever gets ya there, pal.
Catena: So we need this patch like thing.
Gus: There's plenty of guys down here.
There's plenty of guys that were willing to beat ya up for encroaching on turf, too!
There's even guys with more power than they know what to do with.
Layze: you guys are so bad at diplomacy when wanda's not around to go barreling to the point
Gus: Putting it short, there's plenty of guys I can show you.
Shrody: Spare us your "People are monsters" bullshit.
I know this is gonna sound crazy but
who's the guy with the most power around here
Catena: Ignore that pink guy. He's exra edgy when he's nervous.
Spooker: We gonna play dominos? :33?
Gus: Well, if you tell me what this guy looks like, I can show you to the right guy.
Shrody: Catena, you know full well everything this guy is saying is a load of processed meat.
Gus: Hm... The two with the most power?
Spooker: Processed meat is delicious
Gus: I can think of a couple, really/
Kreg: Yeah as it so happens we tend to find the thing we're looking for with the guys with the most power and have been here the longest
literally
Kreg: so it tends to be a good starting point
Layze: "we're looking for a temple"
was all that was needed here
Gus: There's this one boo. He's a don. Don Booru.
Gus: Don't know his actual name.
Shrody: Guessing he's a boo.
Catena: Do he live "in a temple" that "we are looking for"?
Gus: There's the gangs, but they all make way for Don Booru.
Catena: Is he an old dude?
Catena: I'm talking about...a century or more old.
Maybe more.
Gus: Maybe. He's still got it though, know what I mean?
Eh.
Gus: Probably not that old.
Kreg: Is there a temple of any sort around here?
Gus: There's another powerful guy around these parts... Temple? What?
Shrody continues standing guard at the door in case any baddies decide to drop in.
Gus: This is about as temply as it gets. Enjoy the concrete floors.
Catena: Yeah, what do you mean temple?
Kreg: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Catena: Kreg. Level with me here.
Temples.
Kreg: Sorry some nagging voice was in the back of my head
I don't know what came over me
It sounds like a scuffle has started outside, potentially between the Gloombas and the Puff.
Catena: Well, what about the second guy?
There's this guy. He's got moolah like you wouldn't believe.
His name's... Don Frump.
Spooker: Amazing names these two have
Layze: that one's not as bad
Who the hell names their kid "Don"!?
Catena: ...There are some.
Spooker: I assume the Don part is an addon
Like Prince
Gus: Classy guy really. I don't even know what he is. Is he a bespectacled animatronic type of cool cat? I dunno.
Kreg: "Don" is a title meaning "ruler" or "king"
Layze: um don is a real name
Catena: who named their kid "shrody" let's me honest
Kreg: it's kinda a big deal Shrody
PrinceShroob: Shrody doesn't know that.
Shrody: ...Are you serious?
Gus: ... You guys are somethin' else.
Catena: As I said, ignore the pink fella.
Gus: He runs the secret casino. Only if you're in the know do you get in.
Or if you just know.
Spooker: I'm not allowed in most casinos ;~;
Catena: Well, how does one get to the casino?
It'll be tough.
Shrody: I had incredibly bad luck at casinos.
Gus: But you're gonna need an audience with Don Booru.
Shrody: One time, I instantly busted after being dealt two cards in Blackjack.
Catena: We need to meet with Don Booru, to enter Don Frump's casino.
Spooker: I have the opposite problem and win without even knowing what I'm doing, then they throw me out ;~;
Cody C.: do space casinos even have blackjack
PrinceShroob: ...Dude, Space casinos existing in the first place is more unbelievable than them having Blackjack.
(are we really whispering now)
Kreg: (maybe the "temple" isn't a place of worship)
(yes)
Cody C.: I'd be more inclined to believe in space casino than OC copyright laws
Catena: (they worship money in a casino, don't they)
Spooker: Truth is stranger then fiction
PrinceShroob: It's not copyright laws, it's being considerate of others OCs.
Wizzy: Spooker suddenly gets existential on us
Zap: Spooker didn't say that
Catena: Spooker, that was incredibly insightful, yet came out of nowhere.
Zap: Eh whatever Spooker can say whatever anyway
Catena: Truly the mastery of a philosopher.
Spooker: I can't even pronounce that word ^.^
Catena: (anyway, casino I guess)
Gus: So. Just my curiosity speakin' here... How do you plan on approaching Don Booru?
Catena: (good thing you have a load of coins)
I was hoping you'd know
Spooker: If you are asking I assume walking over to him and talking isn't possible? <.>
Catena: What are some of his favorite things?
Does he like.....power??
Cody C.: pot, kettle, black, etc.
Gus: Maybe. But I think he has a penchant for the ladies... I dunno. Something about his appearance tells me that.
Cody C.: I never tried stealing another persons stuff because of some IC autism grudge
Kreg looks at the current group
Catena: I...nominate Kreg.
NO
Catena: Get crossdressing, buddy.
Zap: Throwing a bro under the bus
WHAT
Catena: I mean, would you WANT shrody to do it??
Shrody: I'm fine with that.
Kreg: I'M SURE THIS DON BOORU WILL GO FOR A SPIKED LADY YES
Gus: That's one way to convince him, I suppose.
THIS PLAN IS AWFUL
Catena: Spooker has a manly mustache, it wouldn't work.
I am not pretty enough.
Wanda is out of the question for several reasons.
Spooker: Mostly because she isn't here
Catena: And Brad just exudes manliness.
And is also not here.
No fair
Layze: imo either kreg or cody needs to be the one to do this
Shrody: No seriously, I can do it instead.
Spooker: I do think this mustache is removeable though, it's not like I have skin for it to be attached to
Layze: there's no other way
Catena: Shrody, you would just talk like a pirate in front of him.
Layze: and by cody I mean brad
Gus: I see some brave faces in the spite of crossdressing.
Layze: who is cody am I right?????
Kreg: Shrody are you really sure?
Gus: What if Nintendo finds you? You might get censored.
Layze: oh my god no please
Catena: It's a risk worth taing.
Kreg: ...what's a nintendo
Layze: PLEASE make kreg do it
Spooker: They didn't censor Flurrie right?
Layze: that's by far the funniest way this can go
Gus: You'll need to find a convincing outfit if you wanna do that.
Shrody: Sure. I'm already used to being confused as a girl anyways. It's no problem.
Catena: I know you can do it.
please
Kreg: Shrody no offense but you're not pretty
Gus gives Shrody the pity eye.
Catena: I didn't catch your name!
Gus: Kid... You're makin' me feel bad.
Gus: You can cross-dress all you want. Just be confident in yourself, kid.
Kreg: Also that scouter makes you look like a dork
Gus: I'm from the surface just like you guys.
Catena: Do you happen to have a pretty dress...in the garbage bags?
Or something.
Zap: Can Spooker pull out a costume for him
Gus: Who am I finding a dress for?
Catena: Anything that would be considered crossdressing.
Catena: This koopa full of confidence.
Keiki (GM): Hammerspace items disappear shortly after summoning them!
Cody C.: And Kreg's not that kind of girl
Zap: Aside from the items anyway
Cody C.: to just have a disappearing dress
Gus searches through some trash.
Gus: Eh, I don't think you'd like the color changing one. Too memey.
Catena: Yes. Memey dresses are awful.
Gus: Plus, I don't think blue and black goes well on pink skin.
you know what I DID just think of
Shrody: If anyone says a thing, I'm gonna silence them.
Layze: but it's white and gold
Kreg: what's better than one girl to bring
TWO girls
Layze: that goes just fine
Catena: Who's the lucky lady, Kreg?
Cody C.: I hope you got permission to use layze in that silencing attack.
Kreg: You know what since Shrody sounded like he really wanted to why don't we both go
Cody C.: Just inconsiderate imo
Layze: I'll go get my lawyer Sue
Catena: Kreg, make sure you keep an eye on her.
PrinceShroob: You're no better than me, dude.
Kreg: Yeah Shrody just make sure to reign it in, okay?
No outbursts.
Catena: Meanwhile...what would Spooks and I do?
We wouldn't want to pose as boyfriends.
Shrody: You sure? Pretty sure outburst are a regular thing for your Earth femals.
Kreg: Why, present us, of course!
Gus: Hm. I dunno. Pose as you wish.
eat shit bro
Here's the plan.
Gus turns to another pile and begins rummaging.
Spooker: Leeroy Jenkins it?
Catena: Kreg and Spooker will escort you?
Catena: We came here to present gals or uh
Okay how are we actually gonna do this
Layze: hey don just bringing you some new bitches nbd
Gus: Hm... I think this Toad dress might fill, uh... his proportions. I wonder if I can find something for a Koopa...
Kreg: You mean I go with Spooker, and he presents me?
Catena: I don't want Shrody.
<.>
Gus: You two metal guys seem like close friends. I think you can pull it off well.
It's teetering that direction alright.
Layze: the ultimate bros. attack
posing as a couple
Zap: Spooker will almost 100% fuck up anything that requires any bit of deception
PrinceShroob: You guys have no idea how close I was to posting something flirty to that.
Kreg: Catena, you present me as normal
Acre: gimme the chomp turtle flirt, shrooby-boy
Layze: just present me the way you always do
;3 ;3 ;3
Kreg: Spooker, present Shrody
HOWEVER
How would I do that though
Kreg: Spooker and Shrody, try to be as obnoxious as possible
Maybe if you cause a ruckus the two of us can sneak around somewhere
Catena: You know what, we're gonna be winging it anyway.
Spooker: Oh, I think I can do that
Catena: So let's just from some basic plan and roll with the situation.
Kreg: No offense Spooker but you don't seem to be the type to really follow the rules
Catena: We are wingmen winging it. Har har.
now we be pirates
harrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Catena: Also, hide yo purse, gal
PrinceShroob: Hopefully this is Shrody's chance to ascend to Bro tier with Spooker.
Catena: cuz you carrying lotsa coins
When they make sense
Spooker: And when I know what they are and don't forget them
Catena: Alright, I think we've come with a plan.
Good job, team.
Kreg: wait no clearly by me having money I will appear rich
and well worth it
Catena: I can give you some if you want to be extra rich.
who wants rich bitches
but the don isn't poor
he is the opposite of poor
Wizzy: clearly families of high value wish to have more power between them SHUT UP I'M SMRT
Layze: that is why you are presenting him with bitches
Gus: You guys seem frustrated about how to approach Don Booru.
it would help if we knew where he was
to be fair
Layze: just use a proxy and nobody needs to know
Spooker: Can't we just ask him nicely? This is getting confusing
His terf is in the... what do the archaeologists call it?
We call it the tombs. But apparently it's a subway tunnel.
Catena: It's a subway tunnel. It's a tomb.
That's uh... peculiar.
Gus: Yeah, it's a whole city under here! Dunno what it's doing here.
There's no records of it whatsoever.
Zap: Sometimes it is sad playing a character who wouldn't really think of things, cause I wanna say that a Subway system probably has a lot of entrances, and they might not all be guarded, at least not heavily
Catena: I think Spooker is dying to say that a subway system probabky has a lot of entrances, and they might not be guarded, at least not heavily.
Catena: And just don't know how to put it in words.
Layze: it's almost like you shouldn't roleplay idiots
Kreg: That doesn't sound like something he'd say
Catena: Well, would you say that Spooker?
<.>!
Gus: Well, entering that place... Just remember that you're on his turf.
Catena: Is there not turf neutrality anymore?
Gus: Not down this far below the earth.
Spooker: You can't trust neutralies
Gus: I found some dresses if that's your fancy.
Spooker: Always so... neutral
Kreg: well lemme see them
Catena: Oh, so the crossdressing plan is actually happening?
Catena: Haha, I wasn't being serous about it.
But I think it's a go now!
Zap: I really should have pushed harder for Spooker to do this so he could dress up like Lady Bow
Shrody: I thought you said those dresses were too memey.
Kreg: Ooh I want the black one!
Layze: I really really REALLY want to see kreg be a floozy tho
Gus: White and gold seem more your colors, Shroob-boy.
Zap: Ya, which is why I decided not to
Layze: but they're both white
Zap: Both are black and blue, clearly
Acre: those are some FUCKING NICE MEMES
heh HEH
Give me your best female koopa impression.
It's a meme ya dip.
Catena: We need to rehearse this.
Layze: I'm just imagining kreg doesn't even take off his armor before putting on the dress
so the dress just has a bunch of spikes chearing through the back
and then the helmet
Shrody: I think he means try to talk like a girl, Kreg.
Kreg: well lemme get in character first
Kreg puts on the dress over his armor
Gus: You volunteering for the cross-dressing party or not?
Gus: Don't worry, it's not going to get magical realm. At least I hope.
Layze: don't forget to prepare for the worst-case scenario
Catena: I heard burly men like them feisty.
Layze: wherein the don finds out kreg is actually a dude but doesn't care
Acre: don is actually secretly into dudes
PrinceShroob: How is that the worst case scenario? We just attack him while his guard is down!
Kreg: ...I think I might've messed up
oh well I guess I'm going for the "warrior princess" look now
Or maybe goth? Heck if I know fashion.
Acre: We've wasted an hour on this and I don't even care.
PrinceShroob: That's pretty typical.
Layze: if wanda was here this would've been solved in 15 minutes
Catena: You look "lovely".
Kreg: Shrody you gonna put on your dress?
oops
Acre: would wanda make kreg crossdress
Wizzy: and half the underground would be chasing us, yes layze we get it
HMMM
Zap: Spooker's suggestion of asking nicely is still on the table
who's got time to be nice
Layze: y-you really think I could've gotten HALF?
wizzy you're making me blush
Acre: we are making this the most obtuse thing ever
PrinceShroob: dammit layze, why do you think making everything harder for us is a good thing?
Acre: that'll show that DUMB GROUP 1 who's the master of obtuse solutions
Gus: Tell me how this all goes. I don't have the time to talk about it, but... I wouldn't mind seeing Don Booru knocked from his perch.
We could just...pretend we are from his gang or whatever.
Layze: all wanda ever does is make things easier
right now she's sitting and doing absolutely nothing while brad digs a hole
Catena: That would smooth some things.
Does he have a gang or is he just a dude with power?
Gus: ... Hm. You feel that?
Shrody: What if he's the kind of guy who personally knows each of his followers?
The ground seems to lightly tremor.
Catena: I do feel a light tremor.
Gus: It's like someone's doing some pro wrestling moves on the earth itself.
Spooker: I didn't feel anything ^.^
Catena: That's an obtuse way of explaining an earthquake.
Shrody: ...Spooker, please turn me invisible.
Catena: oh yeah we could have spooker turn someone invisible
Meh, that would be boring and wouldn't work
Spooker uses Outta Sight on Shroby
Spooker and Shrody are hella invisible.
Catena: Wow, it's a flying dress???
Spooker: Did I mess up? <.>
if anything, Spooker is now dating a ghost in a dress.
anyway I think we should get moving
Shrody: Nope, staying here. If I stay here and stay invisible, he can't find me!
Gus continues rummaging through the trash.
Kreg: Hey Gus is there like, some sort of event going on today that'd be a good time to head over?
Spooker: Who are you hinding from now?
hiding*
Catena: We did not make this plan for you to bail out of it.
Show the world just how pretty you really are.
Shrody: Brad, obviously? Only he would try to suplex teh ground!
*the
Also you know
Catena: Be confident in yourself.
Spooker: If we're only going to be annoying
Does he really need to dress up?
Shrody: Catena, this has nothing to do with my appearance!
Gus: Everyone loves you just the way you are.
damn it
Catena: Do you maybe have something that could up my "cool factor"?
In the trash.
Something loud crashes outside!
Spooker: I dunno how you're going to top being a pirate on the cool factor though <.>
Aside from being a ninja I guess
Catena: The cool pile only gets bigger.
and wow sounds wow
Spooker: Or maybe, a ninja pirate?!
What was that?
<.>
you idiot
Catena takes a quick peek
Spooker can't move or Outta Sight will break
The fighting seems to have stopped. The gangbangers are laying on the ground unconscious.
Catena: Well, they are down.
I guess that means it's probably safe to come out.
Zap: All that experience, lost
Catena: Kreg, it's safe to come out. That's what I'm saying.
Cody C.: It's almost like you shouldn't have planned for an hour
Keiki (GM): Nah, it's cool.
I just don't like leaving people out!
Kreg: Did it come from over here?
A pair of figures have fell in the dumpster!
Wanda: Where on earth are we?
Catena: (whisper whisper?)
Kreg: (okay abort this plan)
Dumpster is such a funny word. Think about it. Dump. Ster.
Blitzin' Brad: Bro, check out this rad hotspring
Wanda: Football man, get up, we've landed in filth.
Kreg quickly takes off the dress
Zap: Looks like Brad is where he's suppose to be Kappa
Wanda: Clean this alley immediately
Catena: (what are you doing)
Blitzin' Brad tosses the junk straight upward
Kreg: (having HER see me like this)
The junk is gaining unreal air.
Seriously bro get a ruler for this shit.
Wanda: Now then, it looks as though we've arrived in a run-down suburban hellscape.
You dug us straight through to China, you dolt.
Blitzin' Brad: AW WHO'S THERE
Kreg mourns the now really ripped up dress in his hands
your bro.
half bro.
Blitzin' Brad: Bro, Brad's dug to many Chinas if you get my drift.
Wanda: It's about time you arrived.
Blitzin' Brad: Aw man, it's the bro squad!
Wanda: Brad has dug wrong, we'll have to assemble a rig to dig back up now.
Catena: Did you dig through?
It got kinda slow when I stopped suplexing and put Mother Nature in a chokehole
Wanda: Really now, must we talk in this cramped space?
Catena: Wanda, you should learn how to trust Brad.
Wanda: Now, do you have any idea where...we...
Catena: He gets things done.
Blitzin' Brad: Is that another bro I hear?
Catena: I...think I'm not gonna interfere here.
Wanda: Johnny what on earth are you wearing?
Wizzy: layze ffs I took it off
if you're going to mock me at least read
Blitzin' Brad: Aw man, it's Kreg the Keg-slayer
Bro
PrinceShroob: Obviously, Kreg didn't take it off fast enough.
Blitzin' Brad: We have GOT to get a party going
We gotta get the others
Catena: Do these chumps even got goodies on them?
Wanda: Oh, now what happened over here?
Catena checks for goodies
Kreg: I'm sure you're both... uh
PUMPED to see...
right
Catena: These dudes got in a fight.
These Gloombas are poor. This is a place where the strong bully the weak for what few neo-shekels they've got.
Kreg: Shrody and Spooker are in this house
Catena: Man, they got nothing.
Kreg: ...well, "house" but whatever
Blitzin' Brad: Aw man, Brody is JUST what this party is missing!
Wanda: Ah yes, neo-shekels, the national currency of China.
PrinceShroob: dammit kreg
Wanda: What a despicable scene.
Catena: Anyway, we are kind of in the right place.
Wanda: They can stay in that house.
Catena: Because there might be a patch here.
Kreg slings the dress over his shoulder
Catena: Here's the plan: KREG CROSSDRESSES
Wanda: Don't be silly, this is China.
Blitzin' Brad: Crossdressing?
Bro, I didn't know you were religious!
Wanda: We were looking for the temple underneath Toadbrook.
we abandoned that plan
Catena: I'm certain half of the underground city heard that
Kreg: because I ripped the dress
see look
Wanda: ...What's this about cross-dressing?
Kreg: It's ripped and not like Brad here
Catena: We need smoking hot babes to maybe get an audience with some dude.
Blitzin' Brad: GET A TAILOR BECAUSE I AM RIPPED
Catena: Like POWERFUL dude
Wanda: Anyway, football man.
Catena: he's probably rich as heck
riiiiiiiiich nobility man
Wanda: We need to dig back now, but this city appears to be upside-down, so you'll have to climb up to the ceiling to dig.
Chop-chop.
Kreg: and he's "still got it" whatever that means
Brad and Wanda fell from a hole in the ceiling! It won't be easy to get back up that way...
Blitzin' Brad takes aim, and throws the shovel straight upward as hard as he can, trying to break a second hole in the ground.
Catena: and kreg here eagerly volunteered to be our smoking hot babe
we found stairs up
we're fine
Kreg: To the block museum of all things.
ANYWAY
Wanda: Great, Adam's gone mad.
Kreg: Let's get regrouped so we can get going alright
Wanda: Now then, can we make to digging?
Kreg enters the building again
Steev: oh god the last time I looked at this you guys were in a trash room where how
Blitzin' Brad: Aw yeah, let's get this brocession on the road!
Layze: this is outside that room
it's an underground city
Catena: ok, maybe I need to run this through you again, wanda
Steev: how many centuries until we learn to build cities like this again
Layze: wanda, under the impression that they were looking for an ancient temple, saw this place and figured brad had dug straight through to china
Keiki (GM): Did you want to grab something or someone real fast, Wizzy?
Catena: we are here looking for a temple, which might actually be a casino
and we need to seek an audience with the emperor of china, don booru
Blitzin' Brad: Don't worry bros
Brad speaks Chinese
Wizzy: I just wanted to regroup with the others and/or call the others out
Steev: thank god for the chapter recaps because none of this is adding up for me
Blitzin' Brad: 我能给他们说è¯äº†
Acre: We wasted an hour trying to make Kreg crossdress.
That's it.
Also Shrody I guess
Wanda: Ah, so there is a patch here as well?
Wanda: Imagine where you idiots would be if not for my plans.
Catena: Emperor of china might have it.
Shrody: DAMMIT, WHY DID YOU DRAG ME OUT HERE!? I WAS TRYING TO HIDE FROM BRAD!!
Blitzin' Brad: And who is this fine young piece of 'shroom?
Wanda: Now then, where's the emperor?
Spooker: Oh hey, you guys made it ^.^
Blitzin' Brad: Eyyy pretty lady.
Nice dress.
I'm glad to see you've discovered yourself.
Wanda: Right, my mistake.
Blitzin' Brad: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Wanda: Now then, Catena, where is this emperor?
Catena: Shrodelley. if you want.
Blitzin' Brad: Because it sure did a mean number on ol' Brad's back
Catena: We...were about to ask the guy!
Blitzin' Brad: Think you can help me out?
Sure.
Blitzin' Brad: Okay good, you can be on top.
Shrody kicks Brad in the nuts
Blitzin' Brad always wears a cup
Catena: he's wearing a shell as well
Blitzin' Brad: I said my back, darling
Catena: Sppoker, did you ask Gus where is Don Booru?
Blitzin' Brad slaps Shrodelle's ass
Kreg: Wasn't it a "subway"
Wanda: Wait, did you say Don Booru?
Spooker: But I think he said something about a subway?
Shrodelle is stunned for a turn... Okay, he's fine now.
Shrody: Slap me on the ass again, and you die.
Catena: Well, where is the subway then.
The name sounds familiar.
I thought he was the head of an underground gambling ring, though.
Blitzin' Brad pinches the ass instead
Wanda: I never imagined he'd be the emperor of China.
Shrody shrinks Brad with his shrink ray
Catena: Yeah, it's kind of weird, innit.
People have dark sides, too.
Blitzin' Brad: its a hologram
heh
Blitzin' Brad: nothing personnel, kid
Catena: shrodelley would you kindly stop shrinking people
and move on
Spooker: Follow the leader! ^.^!
Blitzin' Brad totally nailed it. That chick is so mega impressed.
Catena: Subway going down.
Catena: X marks teh spot.
why is even all this graffiti here anyway
someone should clean it up
not me though
Kreg goes down the lovely stairs
Blitzin' Brad throws the graffiti straight upward.
Shrody: If you're not gonna do something about it, then shut up.
Kreg: it's things like that will sink our chances
although I've given up on that plan anyway
Shrody: Shut up, I know what I need to do.
Acre: cake, I better see official artwork of shrody and kreg crossdressing.
Catena: Hm, looks temple-ish enough.
Cody C.: If I can get legal permission I'll give it a shot
Spooker: Not many people here... <.>
Don Booru: Whoa, you lot travel in numbers.
PrinceShroob: Sure, go ahead.
Don Booru: Can't say I recognize yas.
Hello.
Don.
Craws on motorbikes scowl behind Don Booru.
SICK WHEELS
Catena: Maybe. Yeah. Don.
Don Booru: Hey, quiet from the peanut gallery, will yas?
I got some business here.
Blitzin' Brad: Aw man, this guy has a whole gallery dedicated to peanuts?
And they say the rich aren't like us normal people.
Don Booru: Yas wantin' into the casino? Wantin' the big bucks?
Catena: The casino does sound interesting.
Don Booru: Ah... Then surely you gots the pass.
Wanda: Catena, what are you trying to pull?
This clearly isn't an emperor's palace at all.
Blitzin' Brad: Aw yeah, they all got tickets alright
Blitzin' Brad: TICKETS TO THE GUN SHOW
Kreg: Catena you had it right
Catena: Yeah, he's the emperor of china.
Wanda: I don't believe you.
Catena: He's laying low for he moment.
Wanda: In fact I'm pretty sure this isn't even China.
Blitzin' Brad: Don't worry bros
Wanda: Did you really think you could fool me?
Blitzin' Brad: Brad can talk to this emperor
Catena: Go ahead. Show him the casino ticket.
我叫Brad
hat
Blitzin' Brad: 我们想去你的casino
Don Booru: Uh. About dat ticket.
Don Booru: I'm not seein' it.
Shrody really wants to tell Brad to stop pretending he knows Chinese, but won't because that might blow his cover.
i think i mgiht actally be dying rn
Blitzin' Brad lives in China irl
PrinceShroob: Shrody doesn't know that, though.
Layze: yeah id forgotten that
just
holy shit
Keiki (GM): Boku no casino ticket
Catena: Alright,who got the ticket?
Spooker, do YOU have it?
Wizzy: cake don't kid yourself you'd be an ore
Catena: You have the casino ticket.
Look...inside of yourself, or whatever it is you do.
Don Booru: Quit yankin' my chain. I don't think we share the same sense of humor.
Wanda: Oh for god's sake, I've only been here for a few minutes but I feel like we've been getting nothing done for hours.
Excuse me, Mr. Booru, what happens if we try to enter the casino without a ticket?
Spooker pulls out a casino pass ticket
Catena: Well, why don't YOU talk to the guy.
Kreg: We probably get whacked
Blitzin' Brad: He doesn't speak English, bro
如果我们没有片怎么样？
Zap: That wasn't the right command oh well
PrinceShroob: Knowing Spooker, the pass probably expired last month.
Blitzin' Brad: I got this
Don Booru: I don't think that will get you far. Tryin'. Produce a ticket or scram.
Maybe think of a good apology for wastin' a busy boo's time.
Blitzin' Brad: He says we need a ticket
Shrody: Ugh, let's just go.
Wanda: You know what tends to work as a good ticket?
Kreg: Don, if we give you this lady,
points at Shrody will you let us go in?
Wanda: Lightning is a good ticket
Don Booru: ... Let me see da dame.
Blitzin' Brad: 如果我们给你这个美女，我们能进来吗？
Kreg pushes Shrody forward
Blitzin' Brad: He said let me see the girl
Kreg more motions him forward but whatever
Don Booru: Hubba hubba. Now
dis is exotic.
Layze: cody you're actually going to fucking kill me
Blitzin' Brad: This Don-bro has good taste
dayum
Zap: So should I be throwing what he says into goodle translate
Shrody blushes at the compliment.
Catena: smoking hot babes, etc
Wizzy: he's saying actual things yes
I am lazy
Cody C.: I can translate it all for you, don't worry
Catena: Say football in chinese.
Layze: no please don't translate
it's funnier if I have no idea what's happening
Blitzin' Brad: There's no word for American FOOTBALL
Don Booru: Tell ya what. Maybe I'll cut youse a deal.
Blitzin' Brad: Those commies only like soccer
Oh!
He said he'll cut us a deal
he did
Catena: But a deal is nice.
Blitzin' Brad: 怎么deal，大王?
Catena: Please ask him what's the deal, Brad.
Blitzin' Brad: 大王，你的deal是什么？
Kreg: catena don't encourage it
the bad behavior won't stop
Don Booru: My man Koopro is gettin' up there in age. He needs some good services before da man's game be over.
Don Booru: What's ya name, toots?
Blitzin' Brad: He said his bro needs a chick
Shrody: My name is Shrodelley.
Blitzin' Brad: And asked what this babe's name is
Oh
他叫Shrodelley
Don Booru whistles to a craw, and tells him something.
Don Booru: Yeh, bring 'em in.
Blitzin' Brad: He says we can go i
in
Catena: I just wanna add a thing.
Blitzin' Brad bows graciously. Somewhere in the distance, a gong rings majestically.
Catena: If you have someone getting the age.
Let me tell you, that guy needs some FOOTBALL in his life.
他需要FOOTBALL
Catena: ...who's the magikoopa
Kreg: it's probably koopro
Hello, probably Koopbro.
Koopro, too.
Don Booru: Meet my man, Koopro. He ain't my pops, but he'd be a good one one as well as any of 'em.
Layze: who's koopro again
Acre: The guy we're setting in for a trap.
Blitzin' Brad: This is his bro, Koopro. He ain't his pops, but he'd be a good one as well as any of 'em.
Gray Magikoopa hobbles over.
我叫Brad
Don Booru points to Shrodesia.
Don Booru: Youse. Give my poor old man a nice back massage.
PrinceShroob: That's Shrodelley, you ninny!
Catena: Yeah, she has interchangeable names. It's easier on the memory.
Blitzin' Brad: Shrodelley, he says massage the old man's back
Blitzin' Brad grabs his nuts
Back
Catena: Come on Shrodelleyesia.
Keiki (GM): Action command!
Wanda: This is abominable
Catena: let your fantastic claws give a massage
Shrody attempts to use back massage!
Shrody knows about timed hits!
Shrody: rolling 6d6>4
= 3 Successes
Cody C.: missed opportunity for tradition chinese girl brad
PrinceShroob: Is that good?
Acre: We weren't there for the plan
smh
Gray Magikoopa: Oof... not so rough, would ya? Ah... that's the ticket...
Blitzin' Brad: He says be more gentle, lady bro!
Shrody: I'll...keep that in mind.
Wanda: This is taking too long, why are we not just fighting our way through like we do everything else, exactly?
Don Booru pauses in thought.
Blitzin' Brad: Bro, Chinese martial arts are no joke
Catena: (how good are you at giving massages)
Blitzin' Brad: You ever seen Koop Lee and the 40 Tigers of Shangdong?
Crazy shit
He's all
I DON WAN NO TRABBU
But then he kicks all the asses anywayh
Don Booru: Ya look like ya got natural hands, babe.
Kreg: because wanda if we fight we'd have the entire underground after us
Wanda: You clearly have no idea how gang politics work.
Don Booru: How about givin' me somma dat sugah, toots? And then we'll be off on the races.
Wanda: If we dethrone the boss this becomes our turf.
Kreg: Neither do you, so I guess it works out
Blitzin' Brad: Shrodelley lady-bro, give the emperor some lovin'!
大王，他说好了
他想给你
Moto-Craw uses some smarts.
Moto-Craw: rolling (4+0)d6>4
= 2 Successes
PrinceShroob: Wait, what?
Catena: (why is this working.)
Moto-Craw: Got somethin' to say, lady?
Keiki (GM): Shrody, Action Command!
Blitzin' Brad: I don't know, lady bro. The last time there was a revolution in China it fell to communism and has yet to recover.
Shrody attempts to use kiss!
Shrody knows about timed hits!
Shrody: rolling 6d6>4
= 4 Successes
Blitzin' Brad: And communism is NOT AMERICAN
Blitzin' Brad flexes out of stress
Don Booru: Ooh. Anyone ever tell ya ya know how to please a man?
Kreg: (though I just hope nothing bad happens at the end)
Don Booru: Ya do, sweet thing.
Blitzin' Brad: He said you're good at this, lady bro!
Shrody: Hee hee. I've been told a few times. ^_~
Moto-Craw points at Wanda.
Blitzin' Brad: I'll tell him you're still a virgin, okay?
Catena: (this is actually a little uncomfortable)
Don Booru: Those ya people?
Shrody: Yeah, I know them. I'd be wary of the purple ghost and football nut, though, if I were you.
Catena: no don't give us a bad rep
Blitzin' Brad: 大王，不用怕，他是外女
Don Booru: Heh. Suit yaself. If ya ever need a line of work... Make me ya man. Ya can make a lot of money for me
and youse.
Zap: Good thing he can't understand Brad
Moto-Craw: You don't think they'll cause problems at the casino, boss?
This purple ghost is giving me a bad feeling.
Wanda: Actually, I do have something to say.
Don Booru: Youse watch ya tongue callin' us ghosts.
Wanda: Come a little closer and I'll tell you.
Don Booru: Dese peeps be family.
Don Booru: And besides, dis dame has
wondaful claws.
Blitzin' Brad: He said these are his family.
And he like Shrodelley's ass!
Err, hands
Spooker wishes there was food around to distract himself with
Blitzin' Brad: 大王，你试试打他的屁股！
I told him try slapping that ass
er
My verdict...
...............!!!!!!
Don Booru: Well, youse all can pass. Keep yaself on a tight leash though, if youse wanna cause trouble.
Blitzin' Brad: He said we can go in!
Don Booru: Don't make
me look bad.
Don Booru motions to the Craw.
Spooker bows as much as a boo can do such
Moto-Craw grumbles and opens a door.
Wanda does a sarcastic somersault
Blitzin' Brad: Whoa, lady-bro. Above and beyond
Spooker regrets not doing a triple flip and mew and needs to remember to do that next time
Don Booru: Youse gots some fine claws, lady... Man...
Spooker will certainly not remember
Wanda looks at the gray magikoopa out of the corner of her eye as she goes by
Don Booru: Oh, I think ya people be leavin'.
Blitzin' Brad: Shrodelley!
过来
Wanda whispers "Panichikinurtz Omega" under her breath
)
Kreg does the bros attack I GUESS
Catena goes bean scavenging
但是。。。
你们
真的需要
Turns out it was just conspicuous graffiti.
oh well
Catena: Well, we're ready to go.
Kreg boards the odd train thing
Blitzin' Brad: FOOTBALL是美国的最好的东西
Blitzin' Brad: 这有一个东西，叫NFL
Blitzin' Brad: NFL人喜欢玩FOOTBALL
Catena: (kreg, have you ever thought how a perfectly good plan can suddenly get immediately ruined)
PrinceShroob: Does Shrody follow or is he staying behind with Don Booru?
Kreg: (well it worked out in the end didn't it)
Layze: I like how nobody cares about the chicken
Keiki (GM): You can follow!
Keiki (GM): He wouldn't mind seeing Shrodesia again though.
Kreg: (though yes I was petrified about how wanda might mess everything up)
Catena: (I hope this doesn't, because I just heard a bok)
PrinceShroob: Shrodelley.
Blitzin' Brad: Okay bros, I ended communism
Keiki (GM): Also, the old man is positioned where no one is really paying attention to him.
Blitzin' Brad: Gave him a lesson in FOOTBALL
Catena: (I just hope they think it's just a thing about old age)
Layze: fuck yes I got away with turning an important NPC into a chikin
Blitzin' Brad: This must be the gallery of peanuts!
Dark Koopa minds his own business, playing on his Gameboy.
Dark Koopa: ... Huh. New people.
Shrody also boards the train.
Dark Koopa continues playing.
Dark Koopa: H... Hold on...
Dark Koopa beats the level.
Catena: What was the game?
Wanda ponders the field of electronnic possession and what she could do to this dark koopa if she possessed his Game Boy
Blitzin' Brad: Bro, is that a real Gameboy? I know China has a lot of knockoffs
Uhh, sorry
呢个GAMEBOY是真的吗？
我知道中国没有
Catena: Boy am I glad we got a translator.
Shrody: My name is Shrodelley, thank you very much!
Dark Koopa: Oh, I'm playing a game called Gooper Blooper Scooper.
It's pretty terrible.
yeah, thought so.
Blitzin' Brad: He's playing a game called BIG OCTOPUS TRAVELS OCEAN ADVENTURES FUN 3
Must be imported
Dark Koopa: I have no control over the action that happens on this screen.
Like you choose a random adventure?
The party proceeds to ride a stationary subway. Don't stop or anything, this is cute.
You like...
Dark Koopa: Scoop some bloopers.
Kreg notices they're not going anywhere
Dark Koopa: And depending on what blooper you scoop, a scenario happens.
PrinceShroob: We all get it layze(cept Cody, I guess). Now hush.
Blitzin' Brad: He said it's about destroying the evil capitalist western octopi
Catena: Sounds more like just an interactive story.
that's different
Blitzin' Brad: I'll ask the most important question, don't worry
Blitzin' Brad: 这个游戏有好waifus吗？
Catena: That is an important question.
Dark Koopa: All the waifus are really fat. I don't know why.
Blitzin' Brad: 胖胖的waifu也行
Catena: ...right, well this got awkward.
Dark Koopa: Some bozo on the internet always proclaims IT'S AN ART STYLE but... nah.
Blitzin' Brad: This bro doesn't like chubby waifus
Blitzin' Brad: Good thing he can't understand when I say he has SHIT TASTE
Spooker: This isn't Homestuck or something
Shrody: I wouldn't mind it if my significant other had a bit of fat on them.
Catena goes in, guns blazing
Shrody: Still think I'm not good at being a girl?
Blitzin' Brad goes in, guns flexing
Oh sure whatever
Catena: That does look like a temple.
Blitzin' Brad: And this, bros, is Tiananmen Square.
One of the most famous sites in China
Catena: Ah, you don't say.
Nice place. Sounds lie a temple.
Blitzin' Brad: This is where many college students were massacred while protesting the communist government
(allegedly)
Catena: That doesn't sound nice anymore.
Blitzin' Brad: (government please don't come abduct me)
right uh
The glass doors slowly open automatically.
Keiki (GM): End of session!
